Save time....Grow a Beard

Atleast once a day, someone asks me why I have grown my beard so long, and each time, I look them in the eye and I just say "my beard saves me time".  An odd answer perhaps, and yes, having a very large beard requires a little bit of extra time in the course of my day; however, in terms of extraneous and shallow minded people in my life, it's quite the time management tool!  I'm a busy man, and between hiking, trail maintenance, and working with Disabled Veterans, I just don't have time for people who judge me based entirely on my appearance and the length of my beard. Therefore, if one has nothing better to say to me than "Hey Santa", my beard has just relieved me of the awkward task of telling this person to fuck off.  I wouldn't want this type of individual in my life regardless of my appearance or length of facial hair, so my beard actually does help me filter out the dickheads of the world; thus freeing up my time to do the things that really are important to me.  Have a nice day!